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six reminders for bad times



sam does not have to “respect” dean when dean not only did that but refused to apologize for it and when sam attempted to draw boundaries (i.e. “no dean i will not violate you to save your life”) DEAN THEN PROCEEDED TO GUILT SAM FOR DOING SO

holy disgusting shitty shitty piece of shitty crap victim blaming mother of god batman

On the contrary, my friend, this is actually a very handy guide to the Dean Winchester Terms and Conditions for Basic Human Dignity.

(1) You are allowed to take up space. You are a human.*

*If you are the wrong kind of human, said space is locked in a hole in the ground, where you will be left to die. But hey, SPACE.

(2) You are allowed to have a voice.*

*Granted, if you use your voice to say something about your own experience that someone else doesn’t like, said voice will be ignored as condescendingly as possible, because they know better than you do that it’s “just how you feel right now.”

(3) You are allowed to leave whenever you feel unsafe or uncomfortable*

*You are also liable to be tracked down, assaulted in your own home, and guilt tripped forever for having left a situation where you felt unsafe and/or uncomfortable.

(4) You deserve more than someone who doesn’t know how to respect you.*

*You may not, under any circumstances, try to explain to someone else “how to respect you.” If you try to specify that having your medical wishes overruled, being stripped of ownership of your own mind and body, and/or being gaslit for months about these violations does not constitute “respect,” you forfeit all rights herein specified.

(5)(a) You are allowed to put your own needs first.*

*If those needs make someone else uncomfortable, you may be subject to  physically and psychologically risky procedures including enforced isolation.

(5)(b) You are allowed to put your own needs first.*

*Unless what you need is to grieve and let go of someone that you quite reasonably believe to be dead.

(5)(c) You are allowed to put your own needs first.*

*The “need” to be free from such violations as listed in part (4) does not constitute a legitimate need, while the need to be speedily and sufficiently coddled over having perpetrated such violations does.

(6) You are allowed to love yourself.*

Unless loving yourself involves making Dean Winchester uncomfortable in such instances, including, but not limited to, those listed above. Then go fuck yourself.



(this is gonna veer off the topic of the original stuff at points w/e I’m bitter tonight; also this is heavily dean negative so here we goooo)

I don’t usually speak up about anything S9 related because most people are ridiculous about trying to paint Dean so positively in it for the shit he pulled, but what a fucking nasty display of victim-blaming and blame-shifting in general. Sam has done literally nothing wrong in S9. Hell, he’s done nothing ~hurtful~ other than set boundaries and tell the truth on how he felt about Dean’s invasion of his personal self, and even then, I’m floored people genuinely think Sam needs to sugar coat things after Dean made a Teen Mom joke about his possession and tried to use his boundaries as a reason for murdering an innocent monster woman, or how he said he’d redo the whole fucking thing over again to Sam’s face during a time where Sam canonically has been waking up in the night seeing his friend’s blood on his hands. 

Sam has never *made* Dean choose him or ever *made* Dean do something that took Dean’s voice or degraded him or made him ‘choose someone else’. John made Dean do shit. But see, Dean is a grown fucking man, and in any place in the world, this would not fly no matter what shitty childhood you had. Dean is in his thirties. A painful childhood is not justification for anything someone does when it’s actively negatively effecting someone else (in a similar way or likewise). And to blame the other kid he had to protect when that kid had NO SAY IN THE MATTER is something tumblr would gawk at in the real world. Sam has always said that John was fucking them up and that how shitty it was. He didn’t WANT Dean to be his brother-dad. WHERE DOES IT SAY HE WANTED ANY OF THE SHIT DEAN PULLS ON HIS BEHALF IN THE SHOW? And where does the line have to be before people admit how Dean acts is ON HIM NOW?

Sam never wanted Dean to coddle his bum, ever. He went to college and he told Dean straight up he needed to go his own way. He told Dean in S7 he can finally look after HIMSELF now. He told Dean over and over their childhood was wacked, that nothing was Dean’s fault (Something Wicked and Bad Boys, heyyy). He thanked him more than once in the series for having his back and being there for him. He told him he was a fucking genius and that he wasn’t just some soldier. He tries throughout the series to get Dean to talk to him about how Dean feels. He deciDED TO DIGEST 180 YEARS OF HELLFIRE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE DEAN TO FACE THE WORLD ALONE. Sam fucking lived in the same bunker and dealt with the man who literally tricked him into infecting his body with an angel and then hid it and made him feel like he was losing his mind, and he wanted Dean to be his own fucking person more than anyone else in this goddamn show ever did. And he stuck with Dean in S9 even as he was going fucking bonkers because he took some demon’s tat without giving a shit about the ramifications while Sam was left still sick, half-suicidal, and emotionally drained with a friend (a friend that Dean had thrown out of the bunker without telling him why, giving him money, or any place to live, and then insulting his place of work later while the guy was still emotionally fucked up; but hey, I’m sure people will blame Sam for this, too, because obviously Sam chooses Dean to be like this on his behalf, yep, totally). When you say Sam ‘doesn’t know how to respect Dean’, I think you’re probably blind. Or you didn’t watch any of the seasons. Or maybe you’re confusing this with ‘Dean doesn’t know how to respect Sam’. Anyone who watched him prattle off ‘sins’ in 8x23 or how he blames Sam’s mental illness in the Amy debacle and not his own blatant disrespect for Sam by lying outright to his face can see about how much Dean respects Sam. 

I’m sorry, but there is not a single smart asshole out there who would willingly stay with that guy this long and put up with all the shit he does in this last season. I mean, christ, he’s my second favorite character** on the show pre-S9, and I would have lasted maybe 2 days with him. Maybe. He’s not some sweet poor 4 year old trapped in a cycle of pain b/c he has to Protect Sammy. He has made great amazing strides in becoming his own person, learning to stand apart from his father, and making amends, and then he went and fucked that up and you can’t just pretend all that other crap is just magically gone. He dug a hole to fall into, and no matter how much people pin it on Sam to help Dean out of that hole, it’s fucking moot, because Sam is too busy trying to crawl out of a hole Dean had dug for him in S9, too. 

(I also love that tag on the original post saying that Dean deserves ‘to feel safe in his own skin’. After Sam was possessed *again* and this time is tricked into it by his brother, DEAN is the one this is aimed at. It’s almost cartoonish, how ridiculous and backhanded that tag is. Jesus H. Christ.)

**I don’t understand why you can’t love a character at their core but still see what a piece of shit they’re being in a situation.

(Source: highdeans)

“ I’ve done a lot worse than you know. I’ve killed innocent people in the line of duty. But I’m pretty sure it’s not something the old me could’ve done. And maybe I should feel guilty, but I don’t… I don’t know if how I am is better or worse. It’s different. You get the job done, and nothing really hurts. That’s not the worst thing. But I’ve been thinking, I was that other Sam for a long time. And it was…It was kinda harder. ”

(Source: cantscrubitclean)

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